I Am More Than My Body (Part-1)

I am more than my body part 1

Today while I was passing by our neighbourhood, I could hear people mocking at me, calling me names and intimidating me as if I am to be blamed for everything that has happened. More than a victim I was being treated like a culprit. These assaults were too much for me to handle and at this point of time, all I can think of is killing myself and finally put an end to everything. Being a rape victim in this country could be such a huge taboo that the victim is somehow exempted from the society, being looked down upon and mentally harassed. This is the time where all the victims like me, needs moral support, love and affection but do not receive. In this country they are dragged more towards hell.

Somehow, I managed to reach home with shaking feet. On seeing me, both my parents raised from their respective seats and left the room. I wonder how much the incident has taken a toll over me, everyone who I ever cared about, loved and in return I too received the similar reciprocation from them, had no more the similar feelings. I was about to collapse, it was than my sister hold me.

It’s been a week now yet I could not recover from the incident. Summing to that the change in my family and friends behaviour towards me is more disturbing. I completely gave up on life and assumed everything was over. I had no reason to live for. I wish I had not attended my friend’s birthday that night or I had not stood up and fought for someone else’s dignity. In just one night my entire world broke down. I had to give up all my desires and wishes. My professional life too had been sabotaged. Even being a national winner in swimming, I was being judged and blamed for what I wear. I realize I was a fighter than as I had to combat several odds including prejudices and stereotypes both in my personal as well as in my professional life to get into the position where I was then, but now everything has changed. My confidence, self esteem were shattered in just one night.

Late at night, my sister came to me. She was the only person who was supporting and taking care of me ever since the traumatic incident. She came and directly stated- “why don’t you stand up and fight now, your life is not over for just this incident. In any way you can’t be blamed for what has happened. You need to understand this first and then only you can make everyone else understand the same. Get up, and fight for what you have lost. Punish the culprit. It’s them who needs to be punished not you! Initially, I was perplexed and scared but later, My sister’s assurance gave me confidence and I decided to fight for my dignity. Just a bad night cannot change what I am within. I am more than my body and I shall make everyone realize the same. I will fight and not just for me. But for everyone who faced the similar situation yet could not fight for themselves because they were always demeaned.

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